Today has been a day. Please, please someone tell me you have days like this. Days when 9 am feels much more like bedtime due to the number of temper tantrums, time-outs, spankings, and "conversations" that have already taken place. Days when you feel like crying because surely you have completely failed at parenting your just barely three year old.
My "go-to" habit on days like this is to blast worship music. It helps keep me calm because no one wants momma rage running around with toddler rage.
So today, I was fixing lunch. Bethany was screaming about something. Worship was playing and I started praying while fixing quesadillas. Now don't judge me because I'm sure your prayers are much more holy than mine, but my prayer went something like this..."God this sucks!Every stinking day for the past two weeks it's been fit after fit and I'm tired today.I'm over it. Seriously! What do I need to do, because obviously I'm not doing this right!?"
Wanna know what he said?? "When did I ever say discipline was easy. It's hard. It's hard for the one being disciplined AND for the one doing the discipline."
What?? First, that wasn't the answer I was wanting, but since He rarely thinks like I do, because, you know ,His thoughts are higher than my thoughts...I decided to go to the Bible
Hebrews 12:6 & 11 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son....No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
God loves my kids way more than I love them (unfathomable, but true!). And He says He "disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness." vs 10
So the the whole time he is disciplining us, he has an end goal - our holiness.
So, the first word of encouragement I got out of this is He feels my pain! He knows all too well how frustrating it is to watch a child purposefully do exactly what you asked them not to do or exactly what will cause them harm. He understands and does not grow weary. So I can constantly turn to Him as my source of strength and wisdom. Thank you Jesus!
The second word I got out of that is do I know my end-goal for my kids? Because with out a goal, how do I know I'm moving in the right direction, right? I think I know my end goals, but i'm not sure I've ever written it down. I think I shall do that soon! More on this later...
Today after Bethany threw so many fits she sat down with all her lovies and started singing "Jesus loves me" It was truly just a precious reminder to me that Jesus loves me. Even on my hard days, he is here with me walking with me. He reminded me that seeds are being planted in my kids life. Seeds take time to grow. I can't expect my 3 year old to be selfless, kind and obedient overnight. But I can continue to plant and water the seeds. Our church, friends and family will help nurture these seeds too. And then eventually they will bloom into beautiful, loving, godly kids. I just need to be faithful in the process.
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